Heartbreak

this is raw and real and I cannot believe I am posting something so incredibly transparent.

But I am.

Let me tell you why.

My heart breaks for people who think they are all alone.

You aren't.

Why do we act like it's weak to admit our faults? No one is perfect.

Galatians 6:2 says to "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ"

James 5:16 tells us to "confess your sins to one another and pray for one another"

          
So why are we so ashamed to ask for help? Obviously, this has to be done with the right spirit, only God can forgive               sins and I am still of the opinion that some things just aren't other people's business.

That being said, do you have someone you trust, who will point you back to God's Word and pray for you?

I hope you do. And I hope you are a safe person for someone else.

This is my heart, and I want other people to know—whatever you are waiting for, you aren't alone.

Someone else I know got engaged today. I’m excited for her. I really am.

But I’m heartbroken.

I’ve never dated and as far as I know, I’m nowhere close to getting married.

Could marriage and motherhood be in my future? Sure. But it doesn’t seem like it.

What’s wrong with me?

I’ve heard all the arguments. Shoot, I’ve even said them myself.

“I’m not ready for a relationship.

I need to figure out who I am.

All in God’s timing.”

I truly believe that God is in control and that He will introduce me to the most wonderful man and (possibly even now) is writing our love story.

But that doesn’t stop the cruel doubts from being whispered in my mind.

“You’re unlovable.

No one cares.

You aren’t beautiful.

Your dreams will never come true.”

I know marriage isn’t easy, and it terrifies me as much as excites me; but I do not believe that God would place such a strong desire in my soul (a desire that lines up with what the Bible says) if marriage is not in my future.

I could be wrong. Maybe I’ll end up an old maid.

Some days I am so happy with my life right now. I love school and I have an amazing group of friends.

Other days I can’t stop crying.

People confuse me. How I still love people is beyond me.

“He doesn’t talk to anyone else like he talks to you! Y’all are so cute!”

He has beautiful eyes and he looked at me and smiled.

It’s tearing me apart. Where are the men? Aren’t they supposed to step up? Or is that just a cultural ideal I’ve bought into? I’m clueless. Someone please tell me what to do. Please drop him a hint.

My heart is breaking.

"I see you dressed in white

Every wrong made right

I see a rose in bloom

At the sight of you (oh so priceless)

Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable

Darling, it's beautiful

I see it all in you (oh so priceless)"

Am I really? Or is that just another lie?

The above quote is from the song "Priceless," and I encourage you to listen to this beautiful song and go watch the movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPgSrMOTnqM