Finding Nemo. Finding Dory. Finding Myself.

(Part 1)

I remember watching Finding Nemo and realizing, “he’s just like me.” Lucky fin, overprotective parent, a desire to just fit in.

I have a weak left side as a result of a brain injury and I think I found it almost humorous that I identified with Nemo in such a way. I could also understand Nemo’s frustration. Couldn’t Nemo’s dad see that his son just wanted to be a typical fish? Why couldn’t my parents understand that I just wanted to be a regular kid? Then Nemo said something that broke my heart, but that I understood more than I care to admit.

“I hate you”

Ever wanted to say that to your parent(s)? I have. I don’t think I ever actually said it…but I definitely thought it. I’m not like everyone else and I blamed my parents for protecting me from activities that may have resulted in further injury. Of course what kid is thinking, “oh, my parents are just protecting me”? I just thought they didn’t want me to have fun or be normal. I’ll let you in on a secret-normal is overrated; but that’s a different post and I’m off topic.

But when Nemo is taken, his dad (Marlin) is willing to search the ENTIRE ocean to find his son. I love what Dory tells Marlin,

“Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”

You can’t protect the people you love from everything.

Through all of my rehab, my parents have always supported me. They (reluctantly) watched me go to college and be on my own. I’m not a parent, but if I’m willing to put myself in Marlin’s fins for a minute, I can understand his (and my parents’) overprotectiveness that is a result of their love.

(Part 2)

Let’s move on. Who doesn’t remember Dory?

The adorable, slightly forgetful blue tang that captured our hearts. Who forgets pretty much everything-almost instantly. After my TBI I had a memory problem and even now I start telling a story, wander into a different story, get distracted, and forget what I was talking about in the first place. A friend from school started calling me Dory (in the most loving sense of the name), and I think I started identifying with Dory even more. I admire her attitude and her spunk (sure she’s a little naïve when she starts talking to sharks, but who isn’t, at times?) and I was SO excited to learn that Finding Dory was coming out. Finally we would (hopefully) learn the story behind Dory and where she came from.

We all want to belong. And I believe we all have an innate desire to know where we come from. To go back to our roots, as it were.

Dory wants that, too.

I laughed, I cried, and I thought.

At one part in the movie, Dory has what I would consider to be a minor anxiety attack. She reacts to the situation going on and her breathing is rapid, her eyes widen, and she can’t think straight.

That poor fish. I understand, Dory. It happens to me too. And no one else understands.

But she doesn’t let that stop her. She determines to find her parents and won’t let anyone stop her (even if she does get sidetracked sometimes). I shan’t spoil the movie for you, but if you haven’t experienced this amazing tale-do so.

 (Part 3)

How often do I let my fears and insecurities, my quirks and individuality, stop me from doing everyday things? For so many years I thought that people saw me as “the little girl with a brain injury.” I let my limitations define me.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14)

Do I really believe that? I’m a child of GOD! I have a personal relationship with him that isn’t based on anything I have done, but solely His grace. How awesome is that? And how often do we get distracted by life and forget that? We think we’re valuable (or not valuable) because of our grades, our job, our friends, and I could keep going.

My identity should be anchored in Christ if I’m a Christian. But if I’m not living every day with that realization, I waste time and energy trying to identify myself and find value in other things. Yes, I have passions and I am unique; but those are God given gifts that should be used to bring glory to Him. It doesn’t really have anything to do with me, other than I’m the one using them-and if I’m not using them, because fear is holding me back, then isn’t that a dishonor to God?

One of the things that make Dory so lovable is also her biggest obstacle. Our weaknesses are often also our strengths. I have a story to tell, and no one else can tell it like I can. The same goes for your story. Why shouldn’t I tell it and praise Jesus? I’m not saying tell everyone you meet on the street; but hey, if you strike up a conversation and it’s appropriate-go for it!

“But he said to me, ’My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)